


Uni Blues

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Gay, Gay Sex, Human AU, Implied sexual acts, M/M, Sex, Smut, University AU, blowjob, body issues, implied sex, lots of smut, mention of suicide, mentions of Ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 15:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Simon never cared for uni, nor did he care for the parties either. When his roommate, Josh, eventually manages to drag him out to one, he meets a guy that instantly sparks his interest.Except that guy seems anything but interested in him. Plus, how would like someone like Simon?A university/human AU basically explaining how much people hook up and have sex.





	Uni Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. This is a thing. It's a rewrite from YEARS ago that I loved. Have fun reading it. :)))

Honestly, if someone would ask Simon what he wanted to do with his life, or where he would see himself after Uni, he would turn silent or laugh if all off and change the subject.

 

Because, to be fair, he’s not even sure why he enrolled in University (his mother made him do it, actually). All his friends went off to the United Kingdom, to study law, medicine or other hard crap that Simon knew he could never understand.

 

It’s his fault really, because he didn’t bother with learning in high school, and when he finally realized that he wouldn’t have a future if he didn't go to Uni, it was too late.

 

He somehow got lucky and got a place in the University of Michigan, to study for becoming an Elementary school teacher. He shared a room with a guy from Florida named Josh, who was studying to become an English teacher. (They both knew Josh was going to end up opening his own college-their room was literally full of Josh's made up lectures and theories.)

 

Other than Josh, Simon didn’t really know anyone (it wasn’t like he actually made an effort to get to know someone else), except maybe of Josh’s friend North, who was from California and was in a sorority.

 

It was the mid-April and it was one of those days when Simon just wasn’t having it- it was cold and it had just rained. Simon was laying on his stomach on his bed, going through his English Literature book, trying to highlight the most important ideas so he could study for his upcoming exams. He knew all the pages in the book would end up fully highlighted, which would cause him to chuck it against the wall.

 

He is just about to do that, when Josh comes in, bundled up in a coat, scarf wrapped tightly up to his nose and beanie so low that you couldn’t see his eyebrows.

 

“You look ridiculous.”, Simon says and closes his book, inwardly thanking Josh for distracting him from his studying.

 

“Hey," Josh choses to ignore Simon’s comment and unwraps his scarf, then takes off his beanie and throws them on the bed.

 

Simon follows his actions, then Josh turns to him and says:

 

“We’re going out tonight.”

 

“Um, no we’re not?” Simon says. He used to enjoy going to parties in high school, but lately he wasn’t in the mood for anything else than eating and sitting in bed, watching TV shows on Netflix.

 

“Um, yes we are," Josh replies, mocking him.

 

He takes off his shirt, revealing his tattoos and Simon averts his eyes. Because yes, he might be sexually attracted to Josh. He knows for a fact that Josh is gay, or at least bisexual, but would never get in a relationship with him, it would be too awkward. And besides, Simon doesn’t like to get attached to someone.

 

(It’s not like there was ever an opportunity for him to settle down, and Simon isn’t sure if it’s because he’s fat- which he really wasn't - or because he just wasn’t quite the social butterfly. He came to the conclusion that it was both.)

 

Josh shuffles out of his pants and grabs some clothes from his closet.

 

“I’m going to shower, and I expect you to do so too,”

 

“Where exactly are we supposed to go? I’m really not in the mood, J.”

 

“You haven’t been to a party since last year, Simon. You really need to go out and socialize.”

 

“I came here to study, not to ‘socialize’," Simon says, and they both know it’s the biggest lie that ever came out of Simon’s mouth yet.

 

They stare at each other for a moment, before Simon actually realizes he actually needs to go out, or he’ll end up alone with 30 cats.

 

“Right," Josh says after a pause, and walks to the bathroom.

 

Simon sighs and buries his head in the book. He stays like that until Josh comes out of the bathroom. The room instantly starts smelling like expensive cologne and men’s perfume.

 

Josh shoots him a look and Simon nods, getting up and walking to his closet as Josh stands in front of the mirror, sorting out what clothes he was to wear.

 

Nothing looks good on me, Simon thinks as he looks through his clothes. He eventually picks a white shirt that has a somewhat faded phrase on it, the only pair of black skinny jeans that actually make him feel somewhat comfortable, and his black Vans.

 

He showers quickly, then dresses up and stares at himself in the mirror, sighing. He shakes his head, tearing his gaze from the mirror and proceeds to blow-dries his hair.

 

He tries to smile at himself in the mirror, but groans and rolls his eyes at his smile. He hates the crinkles at his eyes and he looks like a pedophile when he smiles. So yeah, he’s 21, in his third year of Uni and has a huge self-confidence issue.

 

He comes out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, and doesn’t bother to shave his light mustache.

 

Josh shoots him a surprised look, smirking when Simon rolls his eyes.

 

“Yeah yeah, I know I’m ugly you don’t have to look at me like I’m retarded,”

 

“No, Si, you look amazing.”

 

Simon shoots him a weird smile and Josh looks at himself in the mirror one more time, picking at the threads of his shirt.

 

“So where’s the party?" Simon asks once they’re walking out the building.

 

He immediately regrets not getting a jacket, because it’s cold as fuck, and goosebumps arise on his skin in no time.

 

“At Kappa Delta. Sorority house," Josh informs him and Simon scrunches his nose. He never liked the girls in the fraternity (except of North, who is the vice-president of Kappa Delta). They were loud, obnoxious and sometimes extremely rude.

 

Not that Simon was any better, but he never talks behind his friends backs or steals peoples boyfriends - they could at least be somewhat discreet about it.

 

They get to the sorority house in three minutes, and Simon knows it’s not really his scene. Maybe in high school it would’ve been, but after three years of hiding from the human race - he wasn’t exaggerating. He literally hasn’t had sex in almost a year, and wanking would only do it for so long.

 

So yes, Simon maybe wants to get laid tonight, but he knows chances are slim because guys never really approached him at the parties he actually bothered to attend.

 

The party is in full swing when they enter the front lawn, packed with people that had red cups in their hands.

 

“This is so cliché," Simon snorts and Josh shoots him a look.

 

They walk into the house and they literally have to squeeze between the sweaty bodies that litter the hallway so they can get to the living room.

 

“Oiii!” A voice yells in Simon’s ear and he knows it’s North.

 

The Californian appears next to him with two red cups in hand, reeking of alcohol and something that smells suspiciously like weed.

 

She hands Simon and Josh a cup and smiles from ear to ear.

 

“What’s in this?” Simon asks, looking into his cup.

 

“Beer," North says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Simon makes a disgusted face but chooses to remain silent.

 

“So Josh, who you lookin’ for tonight? Girl? Boy? Both?” North asks, and Simon feels kind of offended that North didn’t ask him what he was looking for tonight.

 

Yes, he’s as gay as they come, but it would still be nice of North to ask him if he wanted to hook him up with anyone. But then again, maybe North thinks that Simon isn’t worthy enough for someone at this party.

 

And he might be right, because literally all the boys here are extremely hot. But almost all of them are either making out with someone, or already too drunk.

 

Josh eventually leaves Simon, side when he spots a guy with bulging biceps in a snapback and tank top. Simon ends up on the couch an hour later, sipping on his beer that tastes more like piss than actual beer.

 

He makes a face and stares out at the crowd dancing and grinding in front of him in semi-darkness, his ears already numb from the extremely loud music. He doesn’t know how it happens, but half an hour passes and he finds himself squished between the armrest and a couple that’s heavily making out.

 

He rolls his eyes at them and tries to scoot as far as he can into the armrest. He has always hated PDA, but this is just a whole new level of disgusting. He can literally hear their tongues colliding and he’s honestly afraid to look at what seems like an act of cannibalism.

 

After another half-hour passes, he decides that he’s had enough. It’s obvious that absolutely no one has taken an interest in him, so why bother? He hasn’t been enjoying himself anyway.

 

He’d rather be in his dorm watching American Horror Story and eating ice cream.

 

And that’s why I’ll never find someone.

 

He sighs and stands up, the couple falling against the armrest. He rolls his eyes and sets the cup on the table, self-consciously tugging his shirt down.

 

He’s hungry but doesn’t want to eat, he wants to leave but it’s cold outside and dark and he’s just tired.

 

He stands up on his tiptoes to see if he can locate Josh, and of fucking course. There he is; sucking faces with the guy from earlier, the one in the snapback and tank top and that has really nice biceps.

 

Simon tries to convince himself that he isn’t interested in the guys at the party anyway, tries to convince himself that they’re all ugly and dumb, but then sighs because he knows he’s probably the only guy at the party that actually fits that exact description.

 

He turns around and locates the hallway that will lead him out to the back garden. He debates it for a moment, should he go out for a smoke? Maybe he’ll meet someone that’s too high to care about how he looks and just fuck him against the wall.

 

And that’s sad, he thinks. But it’s the only plan he has, so. Yeah. 

 

It’s too late to back out now, he thinks as he walks towards the said hallway. He knows he’s going to freeze his balls off, but he’s willing to sacrifice anything at this point.

 

Maybe I should turn straight, he thinks and wow, this is a new low, even for him.

 

He makes a face at the couples that block his way, and he’s almost at the door, a few steps and two girls making out blocking his way, when the door opens and someone comes in.

 

There’s a cold breeze hitting Simon in the face, before someone collides with him, and Simon didn’t even notice the guy.

 

He looks up, startled and ready to make a sassy comment, but the words get somehow stuck in his throat.

 

Fuck every thought about turning straight; this guy is fucking sex on legs.

 

He has his hair shaved, a snapback placed backwards on his head and a gorgeous smile. He’s wearing a green plaid shirt with a tank top underneath, showing off his collarbones to the world.

 

Simon is so taken aback by this guy, that he almost trips and falls. The guy looks him up and down, and there it is. He knows that once the guy’s eyes fall on his thick thighs and pudgy stomach (which, quite frankly, don't exist), all his (slight, almost impossible) chances with him are gone.

 

The guy steps aside, inviting Simon to pass, and Simon thinks he’s going to pass out because this guy smells so fucking nice and he’s so tall and has huge hands that hold the door open for him and just.

 

A pathetic thanks manages to escape his lips and Simon slips outside, hitting his hips against the door.

 

He feels sick and wants to go home. No one wants him, and it’s a shit feeling.

 

There are two guys outside on the porch. One with an extremely high quiff, who looks too old to be in a frat (no offense), and one that has long dirty blonde hair. He sees a slim girl tucked under his arm, with wild curls and rosy cheeks.

 

“Um,” Is all he can say.

 

The quiff guy stares at him, before he asks, "So you want a cigarette or?”

 

Simon nods. “Forgot my pack at home.”

 

“Course you did," the guy said and hands him a cigarette.

 

Simon places it between his lips and the guy searches through his pockets, before he lets out a ‘fuck’.

 

“What?”, the other guy asks.

 

“Fucking Avery took my lighter. Sorry mate," he says to Simon, who is about to ask who this ‘Avery’ guy is, but then he smells it, and soon enough, the guy from earlier appears in front of him.

 

“Gossiping about me, James?”

 

And. Okay. Simon is now 100% sure this guy is walking sex because his voice is the best thing he ever heard. Slow, raspy and... and just perfect.

 

“Hand him the lighter, Avery. Poor guy looks like he needs a smoke.”

 

Avery pulls out a lighter and lights it up, the small flame near Simon’s cigarette.

 

Simon makes eye contact (it’s eye sex, he’s sure of it) with the guy as his cigarette finally lights up and he lets out the smoke, catching the fag between his two fingers.

 

“Did you get what you went in for, Markus?” James asks suggestively.

 

Markus. Markus Avery.

 

Simon gets dizzy when he first inhales the smoke because he hasn’t smoked in months. A pack costs too much in his opinion and he didn’t want his teeth to get yellow and ugly.

 

Markus nods at James, and pulls out a small box from the back pocket of his too tight jeans (not that anyone’s complaining) and oh.

 

That’s weed.

 

Simon looks around the back garden. There’s a pool and it’s quite crowded, but he thinks that no one really cares about the illegal substance that is about to be smoked.

 

“Chill out man," James says laughing at him, and Markus makes eye contact again.

 

Which isn’t good at all for Simon, because Markus is in the process of laughing, his smile so bright and he just looks so irresistible and Simon is sure he’s going to get a hard on thanks to him.

 

Simon is halfway through his cigarette when James lights up the joint and exhales the first smoke, happily sighing.

 

Markus shuffles between Simon and James, leaning against the wall as James smokes. And Simon does not notice that their arms are touching.

 

His skin is on fire, even though he’s really cold.

 

“So do you have a name or?” Markus asks, and Simon feels a pang in his chest because of the indifferent tone in Markus' voice.

 

“Um. Simon,”

 

“Simon," Markus repeats and turns to James to ask him a question.

 

After a few moments, Markus turns back to Simon, that stupid grin making Simon's heart race once again.

 

“Do you want a drag?” James asks, voice even slower than before.

 

Simon shakes is head and throws his cigarette over the railing.

 

“So are you in the fraternity?" Simon asks looking at James, because he feels like Markus was going to ignore his question.

 

James laughs. “Nah mate.”

 

“I’m in the fraternity," Markus says.

 

“And I’m just here to fuck him when everyone eventually leaves," James says.

 

Simon’s heart stops, not sure if James is joking or if he’s actually telling the truth. Because if Markus is gay, then Simon might just scream. Even though he’ll probably never even kiss Markus, it’s nice to dream (and get off to him, but whatever).

 

“He’s joking," Markus says seriously, shooting James a look and oh.

 

 It was too good to be true anyway.

 

“Well, um, it was nice to meet you," Simon says and immediately wants to slap himself because why on earth would he say that. He should’ve said something cooler, like ‘see you around’ or ‘okay, see ya’.

 

He just wants to go back to his dorm and slide under the blanket and sleep until noon tomorrow.

 

Markus smiles but doesn’t say anything, and James is too occupied laughing at the brick wall than to notice Simon.

 

So he turns around and with an empty feeling in his chest, he returns back inside. It’s warmer anyways.

 

He tries to look for Josh and tell him that he’s going to be leaving now, and to his surprise, he finds him in the kitchen, sipping on some fishy drink directly from the bottle.

 

“Where did you come from?”

 

“Went out for a smoke," Simon answers and Josh pouts.

 

“Why didn’t you invite me?”

 

“You were... busy.” Simon says and Josh smirks.

 

“Oh yeah. Do you mind if I stay here tonight? It’s either that or Owen comes to mine.”

 

“No, it’s alright. I’ll-I’ll walk alone. No big deal. Have fun mate.”

 

And Simon fake smiles, before Josh pats him on the shoulder, places the bottle on the counter and disappears.

 

Simon hates him. Hates him because he has a perfect body and is attractive and extremely confident.

 

He makes his way out of the house a few minutes later, and desperately tries to keep himself warm as he quickly walks back to his dorm.

 

He feels alone and useless and unwanted and it’s by far the worst feeling in the world. He avoids looking at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth and changes into his pajamas. He slips under the blanket and stares at the ceiling for a couple of minutes which seem to pass by like hours.

 

When he eventually can’t take it anymore, he sits up and opens his laptop, clicking on the Facebook bookmark at the top of the page.

 

He barely uses social networks anymore, he hasn’t updated his status since December last year, and his profile picture has been there since 2015. It’s 20fucking18 now, but he can’t find the motivation nor the confidence to update it.

 

He hesitates, the mouse hovering above the search bar, before he quickly types out ‘Markus Avery.

 

And of course he finds him. They have 3 mutual friends. Josh, North and a girl named Sophie who Simon slightly recalls as being one of North's many ‘just friends’.

 

He thanks the lord that Markus’ profile isn’t on private, so he can freely browse through his pictures. And, of course. 

 

Thousands of pictures with him at diverse parties, with half naked guys, half naked girls, drinking, smiling and laughing.

 

He scrolls down through his statuses, but most of them are just check ins made by different people who have also tagged him.

 

The latest one is made by James (JJ) Jones (a tragic name, really), saying:

 

Siiiiick parrtyyy mateeee –with Markus Avery and 138 others.

 

Simon clicks James' profile, and his photos are all of him and Markus, and there’s a short film of them making out, a bit blurry and shaky. Simon checks the date.

 

April 16, 2018. 11:58pm.

 

Then he checks the date on his laptop.

 

April 17, 2018. 12:17am.

 

He closes the laptop.

 

***

 

A week passes by and Simon's sadness got even worse. He barely found the motivation to get up and actually attend his classes.

 

By Friday, Josh has had enough. Simon is laying under his blanket, in a comfy, snuggly sweater, watching American Horror Story for the third time.

 

Josh makes sure he’s heard when he slams the door once he has entered the room, which causes Simon to look up from his laptop.

 

“We’re going to get complaints ag-“ Simon says, prepared to sass Josh, but he stops when he sees Josh's expression. It’s a lot more serious than usual, and he worries for a moment.

 

“Everything alright?” he asks.

 

Josh shoots him a look and steps closer, picking up two empty bags of chips from the floor next to Simon’s bed.

 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” he says.

 

“What?”

 

“Simon. Look at you.”

 

Simon looks at him confused, not sure where this is going.

 

“All you do is eat and watch shows. One more year of this and you’ll end up as an obese guy with no future.”

 

Okay. This hurt a bit.

 

Simon’s heart sinks in his chest and he carefully closes his laptop, pushing it aside.

 

“And what do you want me to do, Josh? I’m fucking-“

 

“Come out with me from time to time. Meet someone new! You know what? I think I know why you’re depressed.”

 

“I’m not depressed,”

 

“I looked it up, Si. The symptoms are sad moods, loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, weight change, difficulty of sleep, irritability, frequent thoughts of death-“

 

“I do not have suicidal thoughts!” Simon exclaims, even though he might’ve asked himself repeatedly if anyone would actually better be off without him.

 

“So you agree that all the other symptoms are true!” Josh shoots back and Simon sighs. He just wants to be left alone.

 

“Why do you want me to change so bad?”

 

“I don’t want you to change at all! I love you Si, but you have to get outside more. I know it’s annoying, but I’m worried about you. I really am. Please, at least come out with me on Fridays.”

 

Simon lets out a big, exaggerated sigh, and gets out of bed. He feels his stomach heavy and hates himself for eating so much. He hates the way Josh's eyes skim all over his body and he resists the urge of covering himself up.

 

“Take a shower and get dressed.”

 

“Dressed for what?”

 

“We’re going out to dinner.”

 

Simon groans.

 

“I’m not hungry," he says, motioning to the bags of chips and the tub of ice cream.

 

Josh rolls his eyes. “You can get a drink then. Just get ready. I’ll change here.”

 

Simon showers once again and after he dresses up with his favorite sweater (the loose white knitter one that hid his tummy) and the usual black skinnies, then slips into his white converse.

 

He shaves this time and asks Josh who’s coming with as he puts on his coat.

 

“Um, Owen, North, Sophie, and a bunch of Owen’s friends. James, Andy, Danielle, uh, Markus.”

 

Simon almost rips his coat.

 

“Markus Avery?” he asks before he can refrain himself.

 

“You know him?”

 

It’s not like I’ve been getting off to a picture of him half naked from Facebook for the past week.

 

“Vaguely.”

 

“Well he’s going to be here if it makes you feel better. Oh, and this guy, Tom. One of North's mates.”

 

“And it’s just dinner?”

 

He can see Josh shrug through the mirror from the other room.

 

“Maybe, I dunno. Might go out clubbing.”

 

Simon's stomach hurts. He hasn’t been out clubbing in ages, and he feels too… big to dance. He grabs his wallet from the desk.

 

They exit the building ten minutes later and get into a taxi which takes them to the diner in the center of the town. Simon can’t remember the last time he had been into the center. Actually, if he thinks about it, he has never actually been here.

 

He feels so disappointed with himself, he might cry. And he’s pathetic, really, because he’s fucking 21 years old.

 

They get to the diner soon, and Simon has once again underestimated the weather. In spite of his sweater and his (very thin) coat, he’s still cold and almost shaking.

 

Luckily, the diner is really warm and filled with a relaxing atmosphere. Josh waves at someone, and Simon's heart starts beating faster. He hates being the last one to show up, because everyone stares at him and he has to walk next to Josh. He’s convinced that everyone is comparing him to Josh, and he feels like shit.

 

They’re in a booth for ten, a leather couch in a semi circle. Simon sits down next to North, and Josh sits next to Owen on the other side.

 

Simon shoots Markus a quick look as everyone else chats loudly and laughs. No one pays attention to him, and he doesn’t know if he should be sad or happy about it.

 

Markus wears a white V-neck that shows off his biceps and he can see a leather jacket on the back of Markus' seat.

 

A waiter comes with ten menus, handing one to each of them. Simon hides himself behind the menu and goes straight to the drinks. He hasn’t even talked to anyone yet, and he already wants to go home.

 

He decides to get a bottle of water because it’s cheap and won’t make him look bloated. He sets the menu down on the table and sucks his stomach in, looking down.

 

When he looks up, he catches Markus' eyes, and averts them quickly, a weird feeling settling in his stomach.

 

The waiter returns and takes their orders. Everyone orders full meals, and when they get to Simon, he can’t help but feel extremely cheap and selfish.

 

“Um, just a water bottle please.”

 

And no one bats an eye to his order. He doesn’t know if it’s because they just don’t know what to say or because they don’t have a problem with it.

 

The waiter takes their menus and Simon thinks, great, now they have to make conversation until their orders come.

 

A conversation starts and he doesn’t bother to join in. However, he likes staring at Markus (in a no stalkerish way) as the boy talks with James and laughs, throwing his head back.

 

Finally, the waiter brings them their food and Simon sips at his water as everyone eats. He catches Markus looking at him a couple of times, and wonders if there’s something on his face. There’s no way, he hasn’t eaten anything since they left the dorm.

 

“Do I have something on my face?”, he asks North and sees Markus smirk from across the table.

 

“Are we going to the club after this?” James asks, leaning into Markus and Simon feels something in his stomach that he can’t quite put his finger on.

 

He wants to go home.

 

“Yeah. You guys up for it?” Markus agrees and makes eye contact with Simon.

 

The others nod and Simon looks at Josh.

 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to," the dark haired boy says and Simon can feel everyone’s eyes on him. He hates that.

 

“Um, no, I actually don’t think I’m properly dressed? Like…” he stutters, motioning to his sweater.

 

“You’ll be fine.” North says and points at herself. She's wearing a sweatshirt with the greek letters of her sorority.

 

“Okay," Simon says and shrugs, trying to seem like he isn’t actually panicking on the inside. He knows he’s going to end up alone in the booth, drinking god knows what.

 

So it’s settled, and half an hour later they all leave the diner, walking down the street towards a club apparently everyone has attended at least once (except for Simon, of course).

 

As soon as they go in, Simon regrets it. It’s hot, and sweaty and loud and everyone is wearing revealing clothes and just grinding and dancing and drinking and fuck.

 

They pick a booth somewhat close to the bar and Simon immediately follows Josh to order drinks. He gets a rum and coke (the cheapest thing there) and carries the rest of the drinks to the booth.

 

He sees North take off her sweatshirt, revealing her toned abs. Of course North would be the one to do that. So now, he’s going to be the only one dressed for minus a hundred degrees. Amazing. He would take his sweater off too, but he does not have the least bit of confidence to do that.

 

He sits down next to Andy, who’s downed his two shots already. He stares at his lap, at the way his thighs splay out against the leather, which makes them twice their usual size, and just fucking huge.

 

He winces and looks up, surprised to see Markus heading towards him with a drink in hand.

 

“Drink?” Markus asks, his tone flat, like he didn’t actually want to give Simon a drink, he was just trying to be polite. Simon shakes his head, getting out of the booth so he can go to the bathroom.

 

“Whe-“ Markus starts and Simon accidentally trips over his shoelaces, colliding with Markus' body, which causes the other to spill his beer all over Simon’s sweater.

 

“Fuck," Simon curses, a dark stain quickly expanding over the fabric.

 

“Shit. Sorry," Markus apologizes and Simon can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.

 

“Ugh. I have nothing under it.” Simon mumbles.

 

“You can wear my jacket over it if you want?" Markus offers and Simon thinks he’s joking.

 

“No thanks, I’d rather not die of hyperthermia.”

 

And Markus laughs, which is just. Simon feels proud.

 

“Seriously. You can take off your sweater and put on my jacket and zip it up. Smells a bit like smoke, but it’s really good.”

 

“Um," is all Simon can manage to say.

 

What if it’s too small for me?, he thinks.

 

“It’s wont be too small," Markus answers and Simon is shocked. He didn’t realize he had spoken out loud. “I mean it’s a bit big on me so you’ll be practically swimming in it.”

 

Again, Simon can’t see if he’s sarcastic or just trying to be nice.

 

“Okay? Yeah," Simon agrees and Markus smiles, grabbing his leather jacket from the booth, handing it to Simon.

 

“Thanks. I’m going to the bathroom," Simon announces and flees the scene, glad that it’s semi dark in the club, otherwise Markus would’ve known he had just made him blush.

 

He doesn’t go into a stall, because they’re all full (he can see girls and boys on their knees, so, okay) and he can undress quickly.

 

He pulls his sweater over his head and tries not to look at himself in the mirror, but fails. His tummy is showing and he winces at the sight.

 

He should’ve stayed home.

 

He puts the leather jacket on and to his surprise; it’s really large for him. It reaches his waist and almost the tips of his fingers.

 

He is about to zip up, when Markus enters the bathroom, pushed by James who has his lips attached to the others neck. It startles Simon, who turns to look at them.

 

It’s only when he sees James pull away in shock and Markus' hazy eyes roam over Simon torso that he realizes that Markus is staring at his chest. And tummy. And everything Simon hates about himself.

 

Simon quickly zips up the jacket, feeling like he’s about to cry.

 

“Sorry. Um, I'll be leaving," he stutters and grabs the sweater from the counter.

 

James has left Markus and is now looking under each stall door to check if there is any free one.

 

“Thanks. Um. I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.”

 

Markus shoots him a smile, and James calls his name.

 

“See you," Markus says and Simon leaves the bathroom before he can see Markus follow James into a stall and hear him drop to his knees.

 

***

 

Two weeks later, Simon is in his dorm (as usual). He shuts the lights off and gets into bed after he locks the door. He’s fast asleep when there’s a knock on the door.

 

He rolls his eyes and turns over to face the bedside table so he can see the clock that’s on his desk.

 

11:30pm

 

He thinks that Josh's probably (again) too drunk and lazy to take his keys out. And Simon just doesn’t want to get up and open the door so Josh can throw up all over him (again). It’s Wednesday for God’s sake!

 

So he just turns to the wall and closes his eyes.

 

He lets out a frustrated sigh when another knock is heard, heavier and angrier this time.

 

He gets out of bed and huffs to himself, before he turns on the lamp on his way to the door.

 

“For fuck’s sake…” he starts, angry, but his tone dies when he sees Markus Avery leaning against the wall across the hall.

 

“Hi," Markus pushes himself off the wall, his face practically expressionless.

 

“Come in," Simon can’t help but mutter as Markus walks past him into the dorm.

 

Simon shuts the door and turns around, suddenly nervous and clueless of what he should do.

 

“I don’t want to um, sound rude, but why are you here? And are you drunk?”

 

He checks because Markus smells like alcohol and cigarettes but doesn’t seem drunk or high.

 

“Your roommate is fucking my roommate in the arse as we speak. I can’t quite sleep through all the screaming and moaning. And I’m hard as fuck.”

 

“So you decided to come here?”

 

Markus nods, walking around the room, looking at Simon’s stuff.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it was the only place I could think of.”

 

Of course. Silly me, thinking he would come here because he chose to.

 

Simon nervously plays with the hem of his tank top that is supposed to be his pajama top. He suddenly gets self-conscious and sucks in his stomach as Markus sits down on his desk chair.

 

“You forgot to give me my jacket back,”

 

Forgot. More like didn’t want you to see my ugly face.

 

“Yeah…sorry about that.”

 

“I didn’t know you liked that band,” Markus says and Simon's face falls, going to his pike of clothes to pick up a jacket to cover himself up.

 

“No, don’t,”

 

Simon stares up at Markus in surprise and Markus gets up from the seat. Simon takes a step back, almost tripping over the too long cotton pajama pants he is wearing.

 

He thanks god that he didn’t chose today as the day to wear his Superman pajama.

 

And it’s ridiculous, he thinks, that Markus is so tall and slim and hot right in front of him, while he’s just short and fat and ugly.

 

“Why didn’t you go at your boyfriends’ house?" Simon asks, and it comes out unexpected.

 

Markus stares at him, confused. Simon wants to hit himself for asking such a question. Markus is going to get mad at him.

 

“James is not my boyfriend, if that’s what you mean.”

 

“But you two-“

 

“We fuck, yes, but we’re not together. I don’t do that kind of shit.”

 

“What? Relationships?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Simon hesitates for a moment, before he sits down on his bed. Markus moves to sit on Josh's bed. He takes off his converse and lays on the bed, hands on his stomach.

 

“Love’s stupid. Like, I can’t imagine staying with the same person for the rest of my life. There’re so many girls and boys out there. It’s impossible to ‘love’ just one.”

 

There’s a pause and Simon looks at his feet, feeling disappointed, then laughing at himself. Even if Markus would’ve actually ‘believed in love’, he would never go for Simon anyway.

 

“What about you?”

 

“What about me what?” Simon stutters. He doesn’t want to talk about himself, he doesn’t like it, actually.

 

“Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, I don’t know.”

 

Simon snorts and Markus frowns.

 

“Why are you laughing?” he asks confused and Simon knows that he’s being made fun of.

 

“I don’t have a boyfriend," Simon says, and wonders why would Markus even want to know in the first place.

 

Markus is silent after that, and Simon wonders if he’s going to spend the night here. He hopes not, because if he does, Simon knows he won’t get any sleep and he has an exam tomorrow.

 

But his question is answered when Josh suddenly barges in, a backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

 

Markus immediately sits up and looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

 

“Oh," Josh says, a slight innuendo tone in his voice. “Did I interrupt so-“

 

“No," Simon rushes and Markus has already put his shoes on and is now next to Josh.

 

“Bye," is all he says, more to Josh than to Simon.

 

Then he’s gone.

 

“What was that? Why is he here?” Josh asks and turns on the main light.

 

“Um. He came here because you and his roommate were fucking," Simon says and gets under the covers, placing his unused jacket back in the pile.

 

"What are you talking about?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I had to pick up a late shift at the club.”

 

“Oh. So no fucking the roommate?”

 

Josh shakes his head and smiles. “He came here because he wanted to see you.”

 

“No he didn’t. He wanted his jacket back.”

 

And Josh doesn’t say anything after that.

 

Simon is asleep when Josh comes out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, so he doesn’t see Josh's smirk when he spots the jacket hanging by the door.

 

***

 

Somehow, Josh manages to convince Simon to come with him to another party that Friday. They get there late (Josh took longer than usual to get dressed and fancy), and everyone’s already tipsy by then.

 

They’re celebrating the fact that they just finished exams, and have about a week before they find out the results.

 

Markus is in the kitchen, looking good and so out of Simon's league (as per usual). Simon feels confident enough to walk up to him and say hello, when he sees James come out of nowhere and he abruptly stops.

 

James smiles when he sees Simon and shoots him a wave. Simon fakes smiles and looks away when Markus decides to look in his direction.

 

“Hey,”

 

Simon turns around to see Andy smiling at him.

 

“Hi," Simon replies and Andy hands him a blue cup filled with what Simon thinks is Vodka.

 

“Thanks? I guess.”

 

“You look good tonight," Andy says and Simon looks away, shyly smiling.

 

Tonight? Because I never look good on any other day…

 

He ends up tipsy in less than an hour, and he somehow finds himself dancing with Andy in the mess of sweaty bodies. He tries not to think about what goes through Andy's mind when he grips into Simon's hips.

 

Simon leans his head against Andy’s shoulder and closes his eyes, wishing he could escape his thoughts and just not feel anything at all.

 

Andy's lips collide with the skin of Simon’s neck, and Simon flutters his eyes shut for a moment, before he opens them, just to find himself staring into a pair of green eyes.

 

Markus is leaning against the wall across the room, with a blue cup in hand, surrounded by four girls.

 

Simon looks away, his cheeks heating up, forgetting that Andy is most probably leaving a mark on his neck.

 

Simon pulls away and turns around. Before he can tell Andy that he wants to go out for a smoke, he’s being yanked forwards and a pair of lips pressed against his.

 

He panics and steps back. Andy smiles at him and Simon weakly says that he needs to go outside to smoke. This time he has a jacket and his own pack of cigarettes.

 

There is no one outside on the porch, and Simon is happy, because he just needs some time alone right now.

 

He lights up his cigarette and leans against the wall, letting out smoke. The door opens again and he doesn’t bother checking who it is, assuming it’s just some frat boy.

 

But his breath catches in his throat when Markus appears right in front of him, towering over his small frame.

 

“Hi," Simon says and Markus doesn’t answer. The taller boy takes the cigarette from Simon's fingers and places it between his own lips.

 

Simon doesn’t fight it, because Markus looks hot when he smokes.

 

“Why are you sad, Simon?”

 

Simon blinks up at the question taking him by surprise. The smoke vanishes in the air and he’s now face to face with Markus, who seems to be closer now.

 

“I’m not sad," he lies.

 

Maekus stares at him for a moment, before he takes another drag from the cigarette and leans down so he’s at the same eye level with Simon.

 

And, okay, now Simon panics.

 

He’s afraid that Markus can see all the imperfections of his face.

 

His heart accelerates when Markus softly grips into his chin, lips almost touching Simon's. And the smaller boy understands what Markus' intentions are, so he opens his mouth. He inhales the smoke, and then lets it out through his nose, smiling when Markus closes his eyes.

 

When they open, dark green meets light blue. And then Markus closes the small distance between their lips.

 

Simon is taken by surprise, his senses going in overdrive. All he feels is Markus, everything is Markus.

 

He manages to wrap his arms around Markus' neck, pulling him closer. Markus' tongue pries his mouth open, and they’re so close, their chests are touching. And it should worry Simon that Markus can feel his tummy through his shirt. But it doesn’t. And it feels nice.

 

He lets out a sudden moan when one of Markus' long legs comes between his short ones, pushing them apart. Markus rubs his knee against Simon's crotch, rubbing it. Another moan comes out of Simon's mouth and bucks his hips up so he can get as much friction as possible.

 

Markus' hands, which had previously rested on either side of Simon's head, are now gripping into Simon's hips. When they slip under his shirt, actually touching the skin, Simon opens his eyes and pulls away, panicking.

 

Markus is left breathless and Simon looks at him apologetically, hating himself for his insecurities that always ruin everything.

 

Markus doesn’t ask anything, which means that he doesn’t mind nor care about the fact that Simon interrupted the kiss.

 

“Sorry," Simon says.

 

“It’s fine," Markus replies, licking his lips.

 

“I’m gonna-yeah.”

 

After that pathetic stuttering, Simon slips past Markus, into the house. He finds Josh talking to North and Sophie, and tells him that he’s heading home.

 

Josh nods and tells him that he’ll stay over tonight. Simon doesn’t ask, nor does he care, really. But then Andy asks if Simon would like to stay over, and alarm bells go off in Simon's head.

 

Does he want to have sex? Does he want to cuddle? What does he want? Is he joking?

 

“Uh?” Simon says and looks around, confused, as if he was trying to find an answer.

 

And he finds it in the form of two sweaty bodies pressed against the wall, one of them being tall and dark, almost out of breath.

 

“Yes. Yeah," Simon says and Andy smiles, nodding.

 

Simon isn’t sure why Andy asked him, but he decides that he won’t care tonight. So he does the only thing he thinks is appropriate at the moment. He pulls Andy by the back of his neck to his lips, before kissing him roughly and ending any possible conversation that was about to follow.

 

***

 

They don’t have sex that night. Because Andy throws up on his shirt and passes out the moment they get into his room. The party had been broken off by the police, because of an anonymous call about the noise.

 

So he drapes a blanket over Andy, before he lays down on the bed. He stares at the ceiling for a while, his stomach rumbling, begging for food. He hasn’t eaten since this morning (he had an exam and not enough money for a sandwich from Subway), so he decides to silently get up and make his way to the kitchen.

 

It’s risky, he thinks, because he’s half naked and is pretty sure his hair looks like sex. He decides to look through Andy’s closet, and only finds a shirt, which turns out to be too small for him. This lowers his self-confidence once again, but he’s too hungry and tired to look further. And it’s invading of privacy, so Simon chooses against it.

 

He pads down the stairs, trying not to make much noise because it’s almost 2am and everyone is probably trying to get some sleep.

 

He blindly turns on a light, which doesn’t help much, but it’s semi darkness so he can manage with that.

 

He opens the fridge and gets out a tub of ice cream. He’s hot and doesn’t care about anything right now, other than putting food in his system.

 

He leans against the counter and takes out a spoon, poking the frozen cream for a bit, thinking.

 

When the ice cream has melted enough for him to eat it without getting a brain freeze, he happily digs in.

 

He stills though when he hears a faint noise, like someone is coming down the stairs. He hopes that whoever it is won’t come into the kitchen and judge him for eating so late, or call him out on it.

 

He almost chokes when he sees a sleepy Markus coming through the door.

 

“Simon?”

 

And Simon wants to melt, because his voice is groggy and rough, but he looks so innocent in a fluffy sweater and just boxers. (Which Simon doesn’t stare at, by the way.)

 

Markus rubs his eyes and his eyes fall on the ice cream in Simon's hands.

 

“What are you doing up?” Simon asks, sounding more accusing than he initially intended to.

 

“I could ask you the same question," Markus replies and Simon thinks that Markus might be mad at him now, but when he sees the slight curve at the others lips, he relaxes.

 

“’m hungry and I couldn’t sleep," he explains and Markus shrugs, going to the fridge, but turning around just as he’s about to open the door.

 

“Can we share? I was also kind of hoping to get chocolate chip ice cream," Markus says and Simon gives him the tub, taking the spoon out of it, in case Markus might be too grossed out.

 

And it’s ridiculous, really, because a few hours ago he had his tongue down Simon's throat.

 

To Simon’s surprise, Markus grabs the spoon from his hand, fingers brushing against Simon's (Simon doesn’t shiver nor does he blush.)

 

Markus makes sure to maintain eye contact as he takes a spoonful in his mouth, opening it wide, tongue poking out. Simon thinks he’s going to get hard if he continues making gestures like that.

 

Markus passes the tub back to Simon, and it’s a thing now. They silently share ice cream, looking into each other’s eyes. It’s not romantic- it’s enough to get Simon’s heart racing.

 

“Is that Andy’s shirt?”

 

Simon looks down and his expression falls when he sees his tummy poking out a bit. He sucks in and shyly nods.

 

“Yeah um, he-“

 

“So you fucked him?” Markus asks and Simon blinks up at him, surprised.

 

“Um, no? He actually threw up over my shirt so I had to change it. Kind of small, but it was the only option I had. Either this or topless.”

 

He lets out a nervous laugh at the end, eyes anywhere but Markus' face.

 

“Why didn’t you go topless? I would’ve preferred that.” Markus says cheekily, and Simon knows he’s not serious.

 

So he snorts. “Yeah right.”

 

Markus stares at him for a moment and Simon would like to know what goes through his mind at times like these.

 

He’s taken by surprise when Markus suddenly pushes him up against the counter and roughly kisses him.

 

Simon places the tub of ice cream on the counter, and feels the marble uncomfortably digging into his lower back, but he doesn’t mind.

 

Markus pushes him even further into the counter as the kiss deepens, and Simon doesn’t intend to let out a barely audible yelp, because it hurts.

 

Markus seems to get the message, because he grips into the back of Simon's thighs and lifts him up on the counter as if he weighs nothing.

 

Simon doesn’t know how to react to that so he continues kissing Markus, knowing that the kiss will end soon. Sometimes he wishes he could be more optimistic, but he knows that good things don’t just happen to him.

 

And Markus is a good thing. A very good, hot, beautiful, amazing thing.

 

He thinks he’s dreaming when Markus tries to unzip his jeans, then suddenly panics, because no. Markus can’t see his ginormous thighs or pudgy tummy.

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he quickly decides to pleasure Markus instead.

 

“Wait, I want you to…” he starts, but the words die in his throat when Markus aligns their crotches together, grinding into him.

 

“You want me to what?” Markus hotly breathes in his ear. Simon has had enough.

 

“I want you to fuck my mouth. Please.”

 

Markus gulps.

 

“Yeah. Fuck, okay.”

 

So he steps back and Simon slides off from the counter, pushing Markus against it instead, then drops to his knees.

 

Markus takes off his sweater and places it next to him on the counter. Simon immediately envies his tight stomach and amazing abs, and he tries not to look too turned on by the fact that Markus is already making noises.

 

He hooks his fingers into Markus' boxers, before he pulls them down and 

 

Holy shit

 

Markus Avery has the biggest cock Simon's ever seen. (Not that he has seen many dicks before, but this is definitely the best.)

 

And it’s pretty, which is quite a weird and slightly unusual word to describe a cock. It’s pretty and the head is pink and just.

 

Simon starts sucking on the sensitive head, which has Markus letting out an immediate moan, throwing his head back.

 

Simon wraps his fingers around the base and tries to get as much as he can down his throat. He ends up gagging and soon enough, there’re tears in his eyes.

 

“Can I-I’m going to fuck your mouth, okay?” Markus breathes out and Simon gives a small nod, and Markus starts thrusting in and out of his mouth, panting and groaning.

 

Simon gags every time, and does not break eye contact as he keeps moving his hips forward. He loves the way Simon's eyes are glassy from the tears and how his cheeks hollow every time he sucks.

 

When Simon pulls back, he can tell Markus is really close, so he quickly pumps his cock until Markus comes with no warning whatsoever all over Simon's face.

 

Simon smiles, keeping his eyes shut tightly so no cum would get into his eyes.

 

Markus laughs and wipes the cum from Simon's eyes with his fingers, before Simon opens his eyes again to see him pull his pants up.

 

“Not bad," Markus says and Simon doesn’t take it as a compliment. And it makes him sad and breaks down the bit of confidence he actually managed to build up during the blowjob.

 

Simon shoots him a shy, fake smile and gets up, pulling his shirt down from where it raised to his stomach.

 

“You can have my sweater if you want," Markus offers and Simon blinks, surprised.

 

“Um, why?”

 

“Because that shirt is not going to keep you warm.”

 

Simon smiles and Markus hands him his sweater, which feels soft and warm in Simon's hands.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Markus smiles and Simon doesn’t know what to do, because Markus isn’t moving from his spot.

 

“So. Good night then.”

 

And with that, Simon turns around and walks back upstairs.

 

He falls asleep in Markus' sweater, which smells like a really good detergent and Markus.

 

***

 

The next few days passed by in a blur, a mix of parties, drinking and coming back drunk. Well, that’s how it was for every single student, except for Simon.

 

Simon's days were a mix of studying (even though exams were over), reading and watching Tv Shows.

 

Josh was out tonight (again), and Simon was in his bed with a bag of chips and laptop warm on his thighs (again).

 

So it’s weird when he hears a knock around midnight. Josh told him that he’d be staying over at the frat house, so Simon is confused.

 

He thinks that maybe, just maybe, it might be Markus, and he remembers that he still has his sweater and jacket. But it’s a bit too late for picking them up, so he loses hope.

 

He opens the door and his stomach does a backflip when he finds himself staring in a pair of green eyes. He can smell alcohol and smoke already, and from Markus' smirk he knows that the lad is drunk.

 

And fuck him, Simon looks like an ugly dwarf in his tight pajamas in comparison to Markus, who looks amazing as usual.

 

“So you’re here again," Simon states and Markus smiles wider, then passes him and walks into the room.

 

He drops down on the bed and closes his eyes.

 

“You’re drunk, Markus." Simon says after he closes the door and goes to close his laptop.

 

“I’m not," he says and judging by his tone he’s just a bit tipsy.

 

So Simon looks through his drawers and hands him a pack of biscuits, which would probably sober him up a bit.

 

Markus accepts the biscuits and Simon watches him as he eats them all at once.

 

“I’m not drunk," Markus says after a short pause, this time in a normal voice and Simon believes him.

 

“So if you’re not drunk why are you here?”

 

“Maybe it wanted to see you.”

 

“Ha, okay.”

 

Simon gets up from his bed and goes to take the empty package of biscuits from Markus' hands.

 

He looks down at his stomach and sucks it in, before he throws the package in the trash.

 

“Stop doing that," Markus says and Simon turns to face him properly, frowning.

 

“Doing what?” he asks confused and Markus rolls his eyes, standing up from the bed.

 

“Sucking your stomach in! Why do you always do that?”

 

“Because I…I just.” Simon sighs. “I don’t-“

 

“Do you think you’re fat? Or something like that?”

 

Simon doesn’t answer. He wraps his arms around his stomach protectively.

 

“That’s really none of your business. So…please leave.”

 

“No," Markus says and steps forward, taking Simon's hands from his stomach.

 

He pulls Simon into his chest and doesn’t waste any time before kissing him. Simon is taken by surprise, but leans into the kiss, opening his mouth.

 

Markus' hands travel down his sides, before they spread over Simon's bum and squeeze. Simon squeals and Markus smiles against his lips.

 

“Wanted to do that ever since I saw you for the first time.”

 

“Yeah?” Simon asks, a sudden wave of confidence coming over him. “What else did you want to do to me?”

 

Please

 

“I wanted to fuck you until you’re begging for release.”

 

Okay

 

 

Simon's stomach clenches at the thought and Markus smirks, before he goes to sit on Simon's bed, pulling him between his legs.

 

“Your body is so fucking hot," Markus says and Simon gets a bottle of lube and a condom from a drawer. He throws them on the bed next to Markus, who is now naked, heavy cock resting against his stomach.

 

“Undress for me baby.”

 

And Simon does. He bites his lips as he pulls his shirt over his head, fringe falling into his face as he does.

 

He still feels insecure, but Markus' expression is anything but disgusted. Markus' eyes roam all over his revealed skin and he bites his lip, fingers curling into the hem of his pants before pulling them down.

 

Simon's cock springs free and he hisses. Markus smiles up at him and wraps his gigantic fingers around it, before he places a kiss on the tip to tease Simon.

 

He then slicks his fingers up with lube, before sliding further up the bed until his back hits the wall. He nods towards Simon and Simon climbs over on Markus' thighs.

 

“M’gonna open you up with my fingers then you’re going to ride me like a good boy yeah?” Markus says and all Simon can do is nod.

 

Simon lets out a soft moan when Markus pushes his middle finger in him, long and cold and just perfect.

 

Markus moves his finger slowly at first, and when he thinks that Simon is ready for another one, he adds his index.

 

He scissors his fingers inside Simon's tight hole and Simon fucks himself on them for a bit, until Markus thinks Simon is loose enough for him.

 

He pulls his fingers out, wiping them on the bed, before he grips into Simon's hips, absolutely loving his feminine curves and his tiny tummy.

 

Markus tears the condom wrapper with teeth, before he rolls the condom down his cock.

 

Simon takes Markus' cock into his hand and lines it up with his hole, before he slowly sinks down on it, letting out a long moan, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

 

“You’re so pretty, Simon.” Markus breathes and Simon looks at him as he slowly starts to move up and down.

 

Don’t lie to me.

 

He puts his hands on Markus' shoulders, fingers digging into the back of his neck.

 

There’s a split second when they just stare at each other, and everything seems to still around them, like time stops for a moment.

 

Then Simon starts riding him, slowly, because it’s been long since he last had sex, so it still hurts a bit.

 

“Move already," Markus says and Simon bites his lip.

 

“It’s just that it’s been long since I’ve last…you know.”

 

“Oh fuck.”

 

And then Markus starts thrusting up into Simon, who eventually lets him do all the work. When Markus stops, Simon starts circling his hips in his lap, grinding down on him.

 

“You feel so good around me, so tight.”

 

And there’s something about the way he says it that makes Simon want to wreck Markus.

 

“I’m…going to…” Markus says and Simon feels him come into the condom.

 

He stills and Markus' hand comes down to finish him off too, tugging on his cock in short, rough movements.

 

Simon moans and buries his head in Markus' shoulder, breathing in his scent.

 

(Which, okay, is a little creepy to be honest.)

 

He comes with a soft scream, and his whole body feels on fire when Markus' mouth attaches to his neck.

 

Markus sucks on the skin there, and Simon knows people are definitely going to see it tomorrow. He closes his eyes when Markus digs his teeth into the skin, pulling at it.

 

“Markus, people are going to see if you do it there," Simon says and can feel him smiling against his neck.

 

“Exactly.”

 

And then he pulls his head back, pecking Simon's lips before he lifts him up like he weighs nothing and placing him on the bed.

 

Simon does NOT like to be manhandled, absolutely not.

 

He smiles and Markus throws the condom into the trash, pulling his boxers back on after he wipes the come off his stomach with a napkin.

 

Simon quickly puts his pants and shirt back on, before he gets up to go to the bathroom. When he comes back out, Markus is putting on his shoes.

 

“Oh…you’re going?” Simon asks, trying not to sound to disappointed.

 

“What? You thought I was going to stay? I came here for a fuck because James wasn’t at the party and all the hot guys were taken.” Markus blurts out and Simon’s heart feels like it just fell in a dark hole.

 

Of fucking course. Markus would never come here just because he wanted to. Simon was a last choice and he’s fine with that. Totally fine.

 

“Okay then. Bye.” Simon quickly says and goes to open the door for him.

 

Markus nods and leaves without saying anything.

 

***

 

It’s Sunday and Simon has been staring at the jacket and the sweater layed out on the bed in front of him. Josh has been asking why he wears a scarf up to his nose inside during spring.

 

Simon never answers.

 

“Fuck it," he says. He wants to forget Markus and whatever it was that happened two nights ago, so he needs to end it once and for all.

 

He’s decided this morning that he’ll walk to Markus' frat house and hand him his clothes, washed and smelling like Simon usually smells; a mix of strawberries and apples.

 

He packs them in a white bag and puts on his best jeans (it’s just a coincidence, he swears), before he leaves without telling Josh where he’s going.

 

It takes him five minutes to get to the house, and his hands are sweaty when he rings the bell.

 

The door opens and an unknown guy appears, topless and looking like he just got up.

 

“Oh hey! Didn’t know we had a doorbell!”, he says smiling, then stepping aside for Simon to enter.

 

“I’m here to see Markus?” Simon says and the guy points to the stairs.

 

“Last door on the left.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

And now he’s walking up the stairs, almost falling on his nose. He shouldn’t be nervous. He’s not.

 

He knocks on the said door, and stares at his feet until the door opens. Markus looks at him surprised, already dressed up.

 

“I brought your clothes back. I washed them. Wouldn’t want to pass on any germs.” Simon says sharply and Markus frowns.

 

“What?”

 

“Just take the clothes so I can get back to my dorm and never- just take them.”

 

“Don’t you want to come in my room?” Markus says in a sarcastic tone.

 

“I’d rather not.”

 

Markus turns around and leaves the door open, knowing very well that Simon won’t just leave the clothes by the door.

 

Simon groans and steps in, leaving the door open just in case.

 

He sets the clothes on the table and leaves the room. Just as he’s about to walk down the stairs, Andy exits his room.

 

“Simon! Hey!” he smiles. “Do you want to hang out today?”

 

And Simon stares, before he smiles back. He nods. Who says he can’t have fun? And who cares about Markus? Fuck Markus. (NOT literally. Absolutely not.)

 

***

 

He ends up playing FIFA on Xbox with Andy and another guy. He gets along with the other guy just as well, and by the end of the day, they’re playing pool and laughing with beer in their hand.

 

He stares at the clock on the wall, and realizes that it’s almost 11, so he should probably be leaving.

 

Although he doesn’t like to admit it, he was kind of disappointed that Markus didn’t make an appearance throughout the day.

 

“I need to go to the loo quickly before I leave?” Simon asks and Andy tells him to use the one upstairs because someone else is currently in the one downstairs.

 

After he’s been given directions, he walks back upstairs. He realizes that Markus' room is just across the hall, and he tries to ignore that the door is open and he can see Markus on his bed with his laptop across his lap.

 

When he comes out of the bathroom, the door is still open but Markus not on the bed. Simon makes nothing of it, and closes the door. But then he feels someone push him against the wall and he just knows.

 

Markus' lips come down to his ear.

 

“You shouldn’t wear jeans like these in a frat house full of horny boys," he whispers and Simon's breath catches in his throat.

 

“U-um. I kind of need to go home?”

 

And it’s pathetic, really, because they both know that it’s a lie.

 

Markus turns Simon around and pushes him against the wall again, sweet breath against his cheek.

 

“I wanna fuck you again, but this time I want you to scream into the mattress until you can’t take it anymore.”

 

All Simon can do is nod, cheeks flaming, and chest rising up and down in rapid breaths.

 

Markus grips in the back of Simon's thighs, lifting him up and Simon wraps his legs around Markus' waist.

 

He wonders how the hell can Markus hold him up like this, thinking that he’s probably going to drop him any second now.

 

Markus closes the door of his bedroom with his foot, before he drops Simon carelessly on his bed and goes to the bedside table.

 

He gets out a bottle of lube and a condom, before he turns to Simon, placing the things on the bed.

 

“Undress.”

 

He remains still as he watches him undress, flushed cheeks and eyes taped to the floor.

 

Markus wonders why Simon is so insecure about his body; Simon is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen, with deep blue eyes and amazing thighs and pale skin.

 

Markus gets undressed too, after he orders Simon to get on the bed on his hands and knees. And Simon obeys.

 

He can’t help but groan at the sight in front of him as he gets on his knees, right behind Simon.

 

“Still loose since last time yeah?” Markus asks but Simon doesn’t answer, he just turns his head to look at Markus over his shoulder.

 

Markus shoots him a cocky wink and rolls the condom on after lubing himself up. He grips into Simon's hips and bites his lip, pushing in.

 

Simon moans and tries to steady himself on his hands.

 

Markus takes it slow at first, before he starts thrusting in, picking up his pace. Simon is still tight, yet looser than last time.

 

“Fuck, did you finger yourself since last time?” Markus asks, one hand scratching down Simon's back, which causes Simon to arch it deliciously.

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

Markus moans; Simon's voice sounds so hot and broken at the same time. He hits what he thinks is Simon's prostate, because Simon loses power in his arms and falls face down into the mattress.

 

He turns his head so his cheek rests on the blanket, eyes closed and panting.

 

“You look so good like this, Simon. So. Fucking. Good.”

 

Markus accentuates each of his words with a rough thrust, which has Simon screaming.

 

“Yeah, scream louder so Andy can hear who you belong to.”

 

Simon lets out a sob and grips into the sheets, slamming himself back into Markus to create more friction.

 

“Shit," Markus says, his hand darting out to grip into Simon's hair and pull him up against his hot chest.

 

Simon's head is against Markus' shoulder and Markus keeps thrusting as he kisses Simon's neck. He feels an overpowering sense of possessiveness come over him, and he wants to wreck Simon, kiss him and mark him so everyone knows he belongs to him.

 

For a split second, he’s scared, because he’s never felt anything like this for anyone before.

 

Simon moans with each thrust, lips parted open and eyes hazy, staring into Markus'.

 

Markus leans his head down and presses a kiss to Simon's soft lips. His eyes fall down on Simon's hands that are tugging on his own cock leaking of pre-cum.

 

“You’re so hot," Markus breathes into Simon's ear, before he bites his earlobe and tugs on it.

 

He can feel himself coming closer to the edge, but wants Simon to finish first this time, so he swats Simon's hands away, one hand still in the soft hair.

 

He starts pumping Simon faster, squeezing and pressing down on the pink swollen tip.

 

“C’mon baby, come for me.”

 

And Simon lets out what Markus thinks is the hottest sound on earth, before he comes into Markus' hand.

 

Markus makes one more hard thrust, and Simon clenches around him on purpose, which sends Markus over the edge, letting out a low moan.

 

They still for a moment, before Markus pushes Simon faced down on the mattress and pulls out of him.

 

He throws the used condom in the trash and wipes his hands off on some napkins.

 

Simon rolls on his back, trying to even his breathing. He can’t believe this just happened. Markus throws him a pair of boxers and cotton pajama pants, telling him to get dressed, before he dressed up himself.

 

“But I need to go.”

 

“You’re staying here tonight…if you want?” Markus says, and he can’t believe he just asked him that. No one ever stays the night.

 

“Okay," Simon answers, a bit unsure.

 

They take turns to the bathroom and half an hour later they’re both in bed. Simon is laying as far away as possible from Markus. It’s too warm for a shirt and they’re sharing a blanket so he can’t pull it up to his neck to cover his chest.

 

He asks himself why Markus would want him to stay, if he’s just going to leave him in the morning, but then remembers that it’s actually Markus' room, so if anyone were to leave, it was himself.

 

He turns his head to look at Markus.

 

The only light in the room comes from the lights outside, and Simon can see Markus' features, even through the dark.

 

He covers his stomach with his arms and wants to turn his back at Markus so he can finally go to sleep, but a pair of cold hands pulls his own hands away from his body.

 

“Come here," Markus' voice is loud through the quiet room.

 

It’s silent, and the voices from downstairs have died a long time ago.

 

Simon shuffles closer to Markus, and they’re face to face now.

 

“Stop," Markus says and it’s the softest tone Simon's ever heard Markus speak in.

 

Markus looks nervous, like he wants to ask something but doesn’t want Simon to get mad.

 

“Simon, do you have an Eating Disorder?”

 

Simon looks at him confused, almost letting out a laugh.

 

“Do I look like I have an Eating Disorder?”, he jokes and then realizes he’s a really bad person and hates himself for that. It’s not a joking matter.

 

“You don’t have to be skin and bones to have an Eating Disorder.”

 

Simon frowns and pulls the blanket up in the attempt to hide his tummy.

 

“Why do you do that?” Markus asks out of a sudden.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Cover yourself up, like…like you’re not pretty and good enough for people to look at you.”

 

“Because I’m not," Simon answers and his voice breaks a bit, even though he’s not even crying. He feels ashamed and kind of uncomfortable telling Markus this, because he thinks that Markus agrees with him in his mind.

 

“But you are, Simon. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Markus tells him and Simon wants to laugh in his face, but he’s frozen because Markus looks so honest, like he actually means what he says.

 

“And I like your little tummy, even if you don't.”

 

Markus' hand trails up Simon's right thigh, resting on his hips.

 

Simon doesn’t know what to do or say. Markus moves closer, until their legs touch and he kisses Simon. It’s soft and without any rush, the only purpose is to feel Simon's soft lips.

 

Simon responds to the kiss, before he throws a leg over Markus' thighs, cupping his face.

 

It’s weird, really, feeling butterflies in his stomach, and so fucking cliché. But it feels nice.

 

Markus' hand squeezed one of Simon's arse cheeks and Simon smiles against his lips, pulling away.

 

“And your ass is amazing.”

 

Simon doesn’t say anything, and makes the brave move to place his head on Markus' chest. He can feel his erratic heartbeat thumping against his ear, and he wonders if he’s causing that kind of reaction.

 

Of course not.

 

“So pretty, Simon," Markus mumbles, his fingers trailing up and down Simon's bare back, smiling when he can feel goosebumps rising.

 

He feels a warm feeling pooling in his stomach, like a knot when he’s usually nervous. But he knows that he’s nervous this time.

 

Simon falls asleep, his breaths slowing down and eyelashes fluttering from time to time.

 

Markus doesn’t fall asleep, wondering how the fuck did this fucking insecure, beautiful, fucking perfect mess take over his thoughts.

 

As he stares at the ceiling, reevaluating his whole damn life, he smiles, thinking that maybe it isn’t all that bad, thinking that he wants to show Simon just how beautiful he is every single day.

**Author's Note:**

> I said there was smut in it.


End file.
